If Only

"Sometimes grandparents leave just when we start to notice they were there."

My earliest childhood is filled with memorable joys. I lived there at my grandparents house which was on top of the mountain faraway from other houses. As I picture, I felt I was into the pages of fairy tales – my grandparents house was lush with plants and trees including fruit bearing guava trees, mango trees and others. I can also picture the beautiful flowers and the pineapples around the house. (I only hope we have camera before so I took a picture).

I really love the place. The place where I grew up, the place where my little eyes were filled with love, the place where I cried when my brother Pito grab my apple (hehe), the place where I felt the comfort of those who love me, the place where I stayed for 4 years and let my Lolo, my storyteller.

I remember the time when I ask Lolo to tell me a story. It was in the evening while we were sitting in front of the ‘dap-o’ (term we use in the Province for a fireplace) when I ask him, “Lolo, wada kau sina d inmali Hahapon? Into pay inyat yo?” (Lolo, you were here when the Japanese attacked right? What did you do that time?). He replied, “may, dengngen yo ta stolyaek” (Okay, listen and I will tell you.) He would begin telling me about when they’re running away together with their family to find a safe place for them to hide. Then I asked, “I wada natiliw sin kakadwa yo?”Sino naiyat pay en daida? (Are some of your companions caught? What happen to them?). Lolo sighed and said, “Pinse da adi din tapi na I babai narape da.” (They were killed and some of the women were raped.) I can’t believe it. That is how worst they are! My Lolo nodded then he suddenly said, “May ta istolyaek et si Kibkibeteg.” (Listen, I will tell you the story of Kibkibeteg.) I and my cousin Vina laughed, we know that Kibkibeteg is a native story. I just can’t imagine my Lolo that time, while he’s telling his story, his doing it in action. Remember we’re infront of a fire. “Para na ngang masunog mukha nya sa kaka-aksyon, J).

I can picture how happy my Lolo that time when we are with him – his funny stories and childhood life stories are all my remembrance from him.

Lola Doliana Cupido Goyeck

I was in Grade school when I rarely visit my Lolo. Maybe because we are kids and we just want to play. Because deep inside we know he understands.

Then, when I was in high school my Lolo is sick. I don’t know how to explain but he’s acting odd. I pity him because sometimes he’s going out during night time and as if he didn’t know what he’s doing. But I know if he only understands me when I ask him what’s wrong I believe he would say he’s okay.

Though he’s acting like a child, he laughed when we laugh as if he understands. And most importantly- he prays the sign of the cross.

We only borrowed our life and we need to return this back when time comes… but you cannot avoid crying if someone left right? Sunday morning of July 8, 2001 about 6am when I was inform our Lolo died. I felt sad. I said if only….if only I can bring back the past. If only I went to my Lolo’s house when he’s not yet sick and ask him to tell me more stories. But I know Lolo is happy wherever he is now. And I will never forget him – his kindness and funny stories that I will be sharing soon. I put his stories into writing but in Kankanaey. Because if I will translate in English- the humor will not be there already –lol. I wrote them with the help of my Lola Doliana.

There is one thing that I want to share from this experience, visit your parents and grandparents more often while they are alive. Love, respect and take good care of them. Do not think there will be tomorrow because we never know, we can never tell. Like others say, it’s worthless when they left before you let them feel you care for them.

Note: I do not intend to hurt our Japanese brothers here. It’s so happen that my Lolo story is about what happen when the Japanese attack Philippines. Peace!